Vescovi Misadventures: Chapter Three


Who knew you’d hang in there that long. Well anyway. Shelby and I had been, uh-er testing out our new couch in more ways than just sitting on it. Before I knew it Shelby had given a very homey touch to most of the house. The upstairs hadn’t been decorated just yet, but I knew she’d get to it. With both of us working we were slowly gaining a small fortune. In my free time I usually gave financial advice to rich idiots who didn’t know how to save a dollar. I even purchased a few stocks. Normally the stocks went pretty well. If it went down we only lost a small amount of money. Times were looking good. Shelby was going on about having a baby, but we barely had room to add on a nursery. Let alone enough money to add on a nursery. Money doesn’t grow on trees unfortunately like my father had me believing as a small child.


Shelby happened to be an amazing cook. She rarely burned anything. Which meant of course no wasted food. Speaking of food I probably should go buy some groceries or get the grocery delivery guy to bring it here. Don’t judge me, the market is almost an hour from here. Do you know how much gas cost these days?! It’s cheaper to have it delivered.


Shelby had bought home a pregnancy test after work a few weeks ago, and it said positive. A rush of emotions ran through me. Excitement, fear, shock, and more. I was more of an emotional wreck than Shelby. Of course she was excited, she had wanted a baby ever since we got married. I was worried over what if I wasn’t going to be a great father. I had no idea how to be a father. My father rarely spent time with me, my nanny Helga spent more time with me than my parents. Of course we’d have to hire a nanny to with the two of us working but, I promised myself I wasn’t going to turn out like my parents. I wanted to be there for every moment in this child’s life. I was working even harder so I could afford everything this baby would need.


Shelby was on maternity leave, so she was staying here on her own each day of her pregnancy. Mostly I was worried, I barely wanted to leave in the morning. Shelby convinced me she’d be fine.


Guys here’s how you tell you’re in love, you’ll start singing out of tune down on one knee to the woman you love. I’ve got it bad I know.


One of my co-workers came over one night for dinner. Shelby cooked an amazing dinner as usual. My job states I have to be chummy with my co-workers, so I threw a handful of crapes at him. Shelby however wasn’t amused. She reminded me we didn’t have food to waste. And she’s right of course.


One morning while I was getting ready to go to work, Shelby went into labor in the nursery I had built onto the house. It was small, but it would work for now.


“Thank Plumbob it’s just one..” I sighed.

“Hang on baby, I think there’s another.” Shelby announced.

I raised an eyebrow. It’s not that I was upset that we were having twins, it’s just that are we even ready for something like this?


After the twins were born, I called work and pretended I was sick. I’m not sure if they bought my fake cough but who cares, I’m a father now!

By the way these two crying angels are Emi and Elsie. Don’t ask me which is which because I have no idea. From what I can tell, they have my complexion, my hair color, and Shelby’s eyes.

snapshot_9e282035_de2ad5bcEmi and Elsie pretty much just slept, ate, and pooped. That’s all in a nutshell, but still they were my babies. And oh yeah they cried a lot.

Shelby had taken the time to read parenting books, but I was so busy that I didn’t get to read any.

snapshot_9e282035_de2ad6c6Whenever one of the twins would cry Shelby and I would race down the stairs to see what they needed.

snapshot_9e282035_de2adcbfWithin weeks Emi and Elsie grew like wild flowers. That’s Emi in Shelby’s arms.


Then that’s Elsie. Who actually got my ears. I didn’t think either one got them, but then again, that sorta thing isn’t noticeable on newborns.


Shelby and I were certainly done with baby making for the moment. Though Shelby kept hinting about wanting another baby. But in this cramped house it’s out of the question.


We spent every bit of our free time trying to teach the girls everything the would need to know. Such as talking, walking, and even going to the potty.


One night Shelby managed to break and dirty up the shower. So the OCDness in me came out full force. I lectured her to no end about being more careful with the shower. After she wiped it down, I grabbed a wrench and attempted to fix the shower. It took over an hour, but I saved money by not hiring a repairman. Though some things I need to hire one for, so I’m not just being extra frugal.

snapshot_9e282035_be2ae76d snapshot_9e282035_7e2ae745

Whenever we left the girls in their cribs they’d instantly start to pick their nose, simultaneously might I add. My girls are talented aren’t they!


I even taught Elsie and Emi some of the nursery rhymes my nanny had taught me as a child.

snapshot_9e282035_1e2b152d snapshot_9e282035_9e2b15ee

The girls kept us busy of course. We rarely had any time to ourselves. But I knew that when I found out Shelby was pregnant.


Though when the girls would actually sleep, Shelby and I had some fun. Don’t worry I took precautions. I think I’d lose my damn mind if Shelby turned up pregnant again, while the girls are still small. I’m not saying I don’t want anymore, I’m just saying my hands are so full.



While we were in the act Shelby’s co-worker who had came over came into our room to view a painting. Yeah, right view a painting. This isn’t cinemax!



It wasn’t a secret the girls hated being in their cribs. They rarely sleep! I thought kids needed a lot of sleep. But these two sleep for about an hour or so and then wake up crying. Is this normal? I really should have read those damn parenting books.



Elsie had begged me to do her favorite nursery rhyme with her. So of course the softie I had turned into gave in and sat on the carpet in my good work suit to hear her babble her favorite rhyme. I don’t think I’ve ever smiled as much as I did with my girls.



Finally it was the girls’ birthday. We didn’t really invite anyone, one of Shelby’s co-workers had joined in. I think she was trying to make us go deaf with that damn whistle.



Emi aged up first, and then Elsie.



The girls’ were still in their small bedroom. But Shelby and I decorated it the best we could. The girls seem to love it regardless. Hopefully we can move into a bigger house soon.



Finally we were having breakfast as a family. Shelby called the headmaster so she could invite him over. I wanted to get the girls into private school so bad. I knew our chances were slim, seeing as the headmaster judges families on the way their house looks. We don’t have the nicest items around here. But if he doesn’t accept my girls, he can shove it!


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